Sunday, March 28, 2010

This is the last night in the hospital... at least for another couple of weeks. This hospital stay has been different. The nausea hasn't been THAT bad, but there has been something else. Dan has been very anxious. Now, those of you who know Dan will know how weird this is. Dan is someone who is normally very laid back so I know this is from the ifosfomide they are giving him. The doctors warned us about this side effect but I've never really seen it until this time.

His skin is crawling and all he talks about is leaving this room. He's very uncomfortable but he can't find the right words to describe it. It's kind of bizarre. This has led me to the conclusion that physical ailments are much easier to deal with than mental and emotional ones.

He tries to watch TV to pass the time, or play games on his iPod touch, but it's just not working. The only thing that seems to calm him is when I sing. Ha! Imagine that! I know it sounds crazy... in fact, I'm pretty sure it's what is causing the nausea :) He also likes it when I just talk. Not like a conversation with him, but just hearing the sound of my voice. I think sometimes we want something from technology that it just can't give us. Maybe sometimes we should turn off the TV, iPod, computer, etc, and look for the relaxation and unwinding in the voice of our loved ones. We all could use more face to face conversation and interaction.

Wow, I don't know how that turned into a soapbox comment about society. But, there you go.

On a lighter note, the Huntsman hospital had an Easter Egg Hunt yesterday for the patients and their families. All of my neices and nephews got to be there. It was so much fun! I could account for about 75% of the kids there and it made me feel pretty good. They were all very eager to tell people about their Uncle Dan and how cool he is. We sure love those cute kids. Dan didn't feel well enough to join in the festivities, so afterward they all brought some eggs to decorate his room. They are hanging from his bed and IV pole (the eggs, not the kids. haha).

Only one more cycle to go!! After his next cycle they will scan his lungs. Depending on how that looks they will decide what to do next. Maybe more chemo, surgery, or radiation. We hope that this chemo has made those nodules in his lungs shrink, but we'll see. If there's one thing I know, it's that the Lord is in charge. He is guiding our life, and whatever happens is part of a big plan. This plan is sometimes confusing, hard, sad, and scary but it is always hopeful. We always can find hope and peace when we need it. All I have to do is ask (and Dan and I ask all the time!) and the peace comes. That's how I know who is in charge.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Family Pictures

Can you call them "family pictures" when the "family" only consists of two people? I think so.

In March when Dan went into remission (whatever that word means) and his hair grew back, I regretted not having more pictures of us together. For one: he just looks really good bald!

And two: I just wanted to better preserve this stage in our life. So, on Monday my sister took some pictures of me and Dan when he was at the end of his chemo cycle and feeling well. I think they turned out pretty cute! Thanks Em! You can see all the pictures she took if you click her photography website "Elm Tree Photography" to the right. She's awesome.

When I look at these pictures I see how lucky I am. The bald head and dark circles around his eyes show the wear and tear on his body. Chemotherapy has taken it's physical toll on most things.... except for his beautiful smile.

I've said it before, but I'll say it again... he's such a stud! I feel like these pictures capture happiness, and I really want to remember the happiness that surrounds us through this time.

Thanks for indulging me with this post!

Well anyway... We're up at the Huntsman once again. Dan is receiving his third treatment. It consists of ifosfomide and etopiside. Dan's starting to feel the start of the nausea, but it's not too bad yet. We will hopefully go home on Monday.

Is anyone else as excited as I am for spring?!